It all started with a trip to the land of blue (apparently) water and orange teenagers.
What world is this, Izzy? It’s a shopping centre, located at the bottom of an old gravel pit by the side of the Thames and the Dartford crossing. If you live in SE England, you know the one. It’s one of those places where packs of teenagers roam in the school holidays, where all hope or any feeling of creativity, curiosity and pleasure in life quietly seeps away through the soles of your shoes as you trudge around shops fingering expensive-yet-cheap clothes you don’t need and won’t wear and haven’t seen a natural fibre in their life, and homewares that only look good in the shop when displayed with all the other bits and pieces of crap you don’t need. I didn’t go willingly, I was press-ganged. Apparently only I have the nerve for the (mercifully short) drive along the M25.
Except I did need a new dish scrubby
For years we’ve used a certain bright yellow plastic thing from a certain big homewares store - the one with a name that suggests mountains and fresh air, but in reality is yet another emporium of overpriced cookware, solutions for household problems you never knew you had, and the most verbose catalogue descriptions ever written.
Crafted from lightweight PBT, this Lakeland Potato Masher isn't just for potatoes. Non‐stick friendly and suitably robust, this masher can tackle any mashing, pounding or crushing job. Mash potatoes; break up mince; crush cookies into crumbs; or use it to mash up baby‐friendly food from homemade savoury leftovers, it's a handy helper to have in any kitchen. We've balanced the weight so that the handle won't tip out of the pan, helping to avoid food from sloshing onto the hob or kitchen worktop. Plus, its sleek design and matte black finish will help add a touch of class to your kitchen decor. Display your stylish new utensils for all to see, thanks to the handy hanging loop on the end of the soft‐grip handle, allowing you to keep it within arm's reach and ready for action. When it's time to give it a clean, there's no need for any soaking or scrubbing. Simply pop it in the dishwasher and relax ‐ you've done the cooking, after all!
“Potato Masher” by Lakeland
And yes, the yellow dish thing is made of plastic. But the wretched thing works better than anything else we’ve ever tried. We have a wooden dish brush with the replacement heads, a bristly silicone pad, and a jolly little scourer made from recycled fibres - which I really, really, wanted to be the one - but the scrappy ol’ Wiz still wins. Each one lasts for donkey’s years, goes happily in and out of dishwasher - and most importantly, dries quickly. Eventually (we’re talking a period of years) they get holes, start to fall apart and need replacing.
But shock horror - they’ve been discontinued! Gah!
And that, dear reader, is where it all started. I mean, it’s only a knitted mesh, isn’t it? How hard could it be? Also, we were about to go on a long car journey and there’s nothing like starting and not finishing some knitting or crochet as you barrel down the M4 (with someone else driving, ideally).
First, I needed to find my twine…
Jolly Good Yarn (recycled plastic bottles, exactly what I thought I was looking for - but far too soft for a dish scrubby)
Knit’s Recycled (again…)
Katia Yarns (not right for this occasion, but keep for future reference - all recycled)
Bachi Twine (reclaimed textile waste, eco-friendly)
Rico Creative Bubble Yarn (polyester, not recycled but dries fast)
The Tape Yarn (recycled cotton blend, more floppy dishrag than scrubby?)
Red Heart Scrubby Yarn and relatives. New, plasticky, not recycled, not the answer.
I went with the Bachi twine. It’s made in Switzerland from leftover yarns from the textile industry. Seemed like a win.
I chose to restart my knitted yoga legwarmers on the car journey (I’ve given up pick-up-sticks and I’m knitting in panels to join together at the end, so much easier) so it was Easter Sunday before I tackled the crochet.
Side note: this plastic stuff is everywhere
We were in Wales over Easter for family stuff, but rather than squeeze into a small cottage stuffed with nieces and nephews, we opted to stay elsewhere - and found a lovely little place, within walking distance of three beaches. Perfect. Wandering along the shore, at first glance, you think it’s just pebbles and a bit of sand…
but is it?
Back to the crochet, which I’ve only done about three times ever in my 50+ years on this Earth so let’s do it. The thing I love about it is, it doesn’t really matter which hole you stick the hook through if you lose track. It all sort of comes together anyway. Well, that’s my excuse. Bearing in mind I was deliberately going for a ‘loose weave’ this is the result:
Hmm. Slightly chunkier than I was going for, and a little bit too soggy in practice. We dutifully stuck with it for a week, but it’s now in the washing machine and will probably never see active service again. Back to the drawing board, and another fruitless search for a suitable yarn. They’re either cotton (soggy!) or new polyester yarns - completely defeating the purpose of this exercise. But then I discovered that ‘people’ are also making crochet dish scrubbies from…tulle. Net. The stuff that ballerinas and brides wear.
Ho! We’re in business
Remarkably, I found a source of recycled tulle but thought I might be able to do better before splurging £10 to make just one dish scrubby. I needed to go down to town anyway, to get my hair chopped off: the perfect excuse for a bit of a charity shop trawl. I was on the hunt for either tulle OR stiff net/lace curtain, which I thought might also work…
I found a fair bit, but unfortunately in the form of large dresses or expensive veils; I think £25 for something I’m only going to chop up in order to wash the dishes is a bit rich. I was tempted for a moment by the shower thingies (unused!) but something just told me, no.
Other potential candidates, like these mesh scarves, were suitably rough but dotted with millions of little sparkly bits. Probably not good for the digestion.
After seven or eight shops of tat, I was starting to feel a bit desperate (and in urgent need of a coffee). How hard can this be, to find a bit of net?
Just when I was going to give up, I found the perfect thing: a little layered and gathered skirt of pink net. It’s even one of my favourite colours, and the lining is 100% cotton so I can add that to the stash. It’s now washed (another ‘bizarre’ wash to peg out) and ready for the chop into ribbons.
How to make a tulle dish scrubby
Here are the various patterns and instructions I found for what to do next.
I’m yet to choose, because the dopamine has worn off my conscience has awoken and tells me that it’s nearly MAY soon and I really must get on with what I should be doing. If you go ahead and try one of these, do please let me know how you get on! Or perhaps you’ve already cracked this one? Tell me your secrets! There must be an easy, sustainable solution for making something at home to wash a few plates - I just haven’t found it yet.
Until next time,
PS One last thing
I've put together a fun little quiz with 5 quick questions - I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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Oh this made me proper laugh out loud, then it quickly turned to horror as I realised I knew exactly what you were talking about, what do you mean DISCONTINUED! Gah!!!
I’m in the same predicament. I used to be able to buy a scrubber that was made from Coconut fibre. Brilliant they were! But not available any longer. I don’t think I will be attempting to crochet/knit any type of scrubber anytime soon.
The Orange/Onion bag is a good idea, there’s loads of them, use once and discard! :))