The strange pull of what you really love

Ruminations...and cake.

Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.

It will not lead you astray.”

Rumi

These words appeared in my life this week when I was looking for ‘interesting words’ for a lesson in Swirls. I’ve now stitched them down, so I’ve been looking at them some more.

Coincidentally, they resonate with a little chat I had with the AI omnipotence this morning, while waiting on my yoga mat for class to start.

Territorial tendencies between me and my fellow yogis means I have to leave the house earlier and earlier to get my favourite spot in class. On Tuesday, I was deliberately silly early: early enough to lay down my mat to nab my space, swing a few kettlebells and feel a bit butch, then pootle off for a shower before wafting back to yoga two minutes before class started. It felt amazing, like an excellent habit-stacking strategy. I’ll likely never do it again.

So this morning I didn’t do that, obviously, but I still left the house early enough. Which meant I had a little ‘nothing’ time when I got to the gym. Cue a little chat with AI to pass the time. Didn’t know what to talk about, so I went for “what should I do with my life?”

I was fooling around. I was sceptical. I’m not sure any AI can come up with a life strategy that means I can genuinely pursue a lifestyle where I read books, play around in the kitchen, sit in the garden drinking coffee, then wander around the fields and woods with no particular agenda… well, at least not yet, not until 2037 (pension! if it still exists).

But after a series of questions, we got to the nitty gritty. Here’s its insight:

It’s like you’re seeking balance between escape, creativity and physical connection.

Why, I guess I am.

Creativity

I’ve been filming Swirls lessons. And re-filming, after creating a lot of content for the blooper reel. Sigh. It’s hard to start (see next point) but once I’m up and running (see third point) I’m away and having fun and exploring ideas. Hence the need for a bit of Rumi.

I’ve also been baking a lot of cake. Needed a birthday cake last week, and discovered an excellent recipe for vegan lemon drizzle. As you know, I was pondering making a marmalade version. So I did. Marvellous. And because that was such a success, I wondered if it could be tweaked to become carrot cake. Yes, indeed it can.

This is dangerous territory. I needed another pot of yoghurt to make that third cake. And grated carrot. We now have surplus yoghurt and a tupperware of grated carrot. You know where this is going, don’t you…

It’s a bit like the infamous story about my mother making a white sauce, that my grandmother liked to tell every time we made macaroni cheese together. First it’s too thick, so you add more milk…then it’s too thin, so you add more flour…and so it goes until you have enough sauce to feed an army.

Quite how this squares with losing a few pounds ready for bikini season* I’m not sure.

*I jest - about the bikini, not the spare lbs. They’re very much a fact.

Escape

Along with increased feelings of creativity come increasingly desperate means to escape actually creating anything. It’s a conundrum. It’s also why I’ve made three cakes in ten days.

It’s also sunny and warm, and my daughter is now on hols. The time I’m prepared to be locked in my room getting on is shrinking with every increase in daytime temperatures. In a way, it reminds me of the very first lockdown - the exact time when I filmed Swirls first time around - when the weather was beautiful and the days melded into each other. But this time, all other aspects of life are carrying on and everything is so much busier.

Physical connection

I’m starting to feel the five years I’ve aged since first time round. I’m tired, my sleep is shot. I’m softer in parts, but other parts are perhaps stronger. I’m definitely more flexible. I feel more in tune with myself, with me. There is a little more connection between my clothes and my mid-section than I’d like, but let’s gloss over that.

This morning I wore my old ‘running’ trainers to go for my walk, and there was something odd about lacing them up instead of my usual battered pair. Some sort of Pavlovian connection in the depths of my brain made me want to start running again, just by wearing them. I might.

Perhaps a run every now and then will help me sleep? Bring on a bit of outdoors swimming, too. I’m starting to get a craving for that, because I know I’ll be back by (two different) Celtic coasts very soon (see ‘escape’). I’ve started my preparations with cold showers, and it’s heavenly. I know you don’t believe me!

Do you ever feel yourself pulled in three directions at once?!

Until next time,

---

Cake!

You didn’t think I’d leave you hanging, did you?

The basic mix uses:

Butter/margarine; caster sugar; yoghurt - I think thicker/Greek-style is better; milk, plain flour, ground almonds, baking powder, bicarb. I think a little vanilla extract sneaked in too. I used Alpro soy for both yog and milk; for the butter I tried Naturli block first and won’t again, then Flora plant-based block.

Usual procedure for cake making: butter is creamed with the sugar until fluffy, then the yoghurt is beaten in and any moist additions (e.g. carrot), and finally the dried ingredients are gently folded (I used a food mixer on slow and to be honest, it still got a bit of a bashing) - with enough liquid added to get your standard ‘dropping’ consistency of cake batter.

I used a 2lb wide loaf tin with a parchment liner and baked at 170°C (fan) for 45-50 minutes until skewer is clean etc. Cool in the tin for 10, then wire rack.

Carrot cake version:

• 100g margarine/butter

• 100g caster sugar

• 150g unsweetened (soy) yoghurt

• 2-3 tbsp milk (depends how thick the yoghurt is)

• 150g plain flour

• 75g ground almonds

• 2 tsp baking powder

• ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda

• 30g brown sugar

• 1 tbsp fresh orange juice

• Zest of 1 orange

• 120g grated carrot, squeezed a little

• 1 heaped tsp cinnamon - I added a little mixed spice too, love it

• 25g chopped walnuts or pecans

When completely cool, glaze with a mix of icing sugar, water, cinnamon - or icing sugar and orange juice - as you prefer.

This was the only one that was a little damp on its bottom - probably because I used a thinner yoghurt (not Greek-stylee). Could’ve used 5 minutes more oven maybe, but I think it was the yoghurt. I only added a little of the milk, not all 3 tbsp. Trust your judgement. The carrots make it extra moist, so the squeeze before adding was a good move. A handful of sultanas/raisins wouldn’t go amiss, and might soak up some of the extra liquid.

For the lemon cake version

This was the first I made and is higher in fat and sugar, partly why I switched it up for the other versions. I’m yet to try the lighter version (as per orange/carrot) with lemon - oh no! more cake!

I also added a handful of frozen raspberries at the end (which mostly disintegrated but were a good shout).

• 150g margarine/butter​

• 225g caster sugar​

• 150g yoghurt

• Zest of 2 lemons​

• 250g self-raising flour​

• ½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda​

• 50g ground almonds​

• 2 tablespoons cornflour​

Save the juice of the lemons to make a drizzle. After the initial 10 minutes of cooling, poke the top all over with a cocktail stick and drizzle over a mix of sugar (I used granulated) and lemon juice, roughly 100g sugar to whatever of lemon until you get a syrupy mix.

Orange marmalade version:

• 100g margarine

• 100g caster sugar

• 150g unsweetened yoghurt

• 2–3 tbsp milk (adjust as needed)

• Zest of 2 oranges

• 50g marmalade

• 150g plain flour

• 75g ground almonds

• 2 tsp baking powder

• ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda

This one, I opted for an orange glaze when it was completely cool. Simple mix of icing sugar and orange juice.

marmalade cake

I’ve no idea how long they’d keep because that wasn’t an issue...