I've found it

The search for the Holy Grail - Part II

The search begins…

Back in lockdown I had a conversation with someone else who teaches machine embroidery classes online, to discuss her slightly bonkers idea for petitioning sewing machine manufacturers to create the ‘perfect’ machine for machine embroidery. Why bonkers? Well…I was sceptical at the time, and remain so for three reasons:

1. Firstly, what we each want in a machine is so very personal.

2. Secondly, I didn’t want to say, but I didn’t much like the machine she used and loved and wondered why she’d chosen it…

3. Thirdly and most importantly, I don’t think it can be done. There is no perfect machine.

TLDR? You can stop here! Or…

Consider the eternal triangle of decision making

Where you can have two out of three things, but not all three…

Beyond the various features and feet that are available - which I’ll get to in a moment - I think we can agree that the perfect machine would be:

• Strong - last forever

• Versatile - do many things, the things we want to do - whatever that is for us

• Easy - simple to operate, minimum faff and fuss

• Light - easy to lift and move around, even if that’s just onto and off the table

• Cheap - or rather, affordable (and obviously the definition of ‘affordable’ varies from person to person, but you get what I mean - you don’t want to have to sell a child or body part to purchase one)

Sadly, the machine that is all that, doesn’t and won’t ever exist.

Strong and versatile will not be cheap. Get ready to donate that kidney.

Strong and cheap will not be versatile. You’ve probably stumbled upon an absolute gem, and found a good yet old machine. It’ll be a workhorse but have limited features, meaning you’ll have to find workarounds for more complex manoeuvres (e.g. using a plate instead of dropping the feed, or selecting different stitches from a limited menu with levers not simple buttons or dials)

Cheap and versatile will not be strong. If it’s got loads of features and is still cheap, it won’t stand the test of time and will die young: you don’t get something for nothing, so where’s the compromise? It’ll be inside the machine itself, the stuff you don’t see behind the shiny white exterior peppered with promises: we’re talking plastic not metal components, a cheaper motor etc.

Strong and easy won’t be cheap. If it’s strong, it’s been made to high standards which costs more money - and it’ll hold it’s value, so even second-hand isn’t cheap, even if the limited features make it easy to operate.

Strong and cheap won’t necessarily be easy. If it’s strong and cheap, once again you may have stumbled upon a gem of a second-hand machine being sold by someone who doesn’t know what they’ve got - but it might not be straight-forward to operate. It’ll probably be mechanical and a bit cumbersome to select some features.

The student I told you about before, the one who bought my very strong, bargain Bernina? She was also the one who stumbled upon another old Bernina in a charity shop, pretended she didn’t know anything about the make, or even sewing machines at all, throwing shade on its quality - before walking out 5 minutes later with an absolute bargain after haggling them down even further on the price. Morag, I salute you!

Cheap and easy won’t be strong. This is the supermarket special: good to get you started if you just want something really simple to turn up a hem, but probably more trouble than it’s worth for anything more complex.

And no matter what, a strong machine, simple or cheap or not, will always be heavy.

And MOST importantly…

THEY DON’T CARE

1. Sewing machine manufacturers exist to sell sewing machines - they don’t care two hoots about ‘helping you be more creative’. They’ll always put the more desirable features slightly out of reach. The entry level machine will be fine, but there’ll be one absent but key feature that’ll have you looking up to the next tier to try and get the things you want. Higher tier, more money - to them.

2. It’ll always be out of reach. It’s a game they play, toying with us; dangling exciting but upgraded features in front of us, like waving a length of fluffy yarn in front of a kitten.

Brace yourself…it’s that dirty word: compromise

The ‘perfect machine’ will do as many of the things you want to do with as few compromises as possible - but compromises there will be. You can’t escape.

Yeah, I’ve got all the feet and all the features and can do all the things - but it’s now an expensive hefty beast with a manual as thick as a Tolstoy novel. I wouldn’t want to carry my beast of a machine across the room, never mind out of the house. Getting it serviced is an ordeal, as the shop is on a corner with double yellows.

The answer?

1. Choose your poison

You can have…

• ONE machine that does lots of things but with inevitable compromises in some areas?

Or…

• MANY machines that each do a specific thing very well - and between them, you can do everything in every circumstance? Overkill for most people, but you may surprise yourself: the more you do the more you need or want to be able to do.

This is the classic n+1, where n is the number of sewing machines you have now and n+1 is the perfect number of sewing machines to own.

The only way to have one machine do everything well, is for that ‘everything’ to actually be ‘one thing’ like dressmaking only. And that ain’t gonna happen, is it?

So next, you’ll need to decide…

2. How much - and where - am I willing to compromise?

Something’s gotta give, and it’s up to you what and where.

3. Realise that THE answer is actually something completely different

Drumroll please…..

THE PERFECT SEWING MACHINE IS THE ONE YOU USE

What matters MOST is WHAT YOU DO WITH IT!

In all my years of teaching machine embroidery, there’s only ever been ONE person who really rubbed me up the wrong way 👿

I was new to teaching this malarky, and I remember her because she borrowed a school machine for class but kept telling us about the machine she had at home, kept name-dropping it 😴 (permission to roll your eyes at me because I’m fully aware I’ve dropped the B word a lot over the past two posts - and yes, it may be a cult, plus more on cults in a moment).

Why did this bother me? Because she never learned a thing. She didn’t really do much in class, and never practised anything at home, or explored her own ideas, preferring to COPY - by which I mean rip off - other people’s work. It really pissed me off, actually, as she did it with a friend of mine who’d come to talk to our Guild and show us her beautiful pieces of work based on historical characters. Original pieces she’d spent countless hours researching, designing and creating.

The lady in question came along to the talk, then appeared in class four days later with a pretty dire but direct copy of one of the pieces. Same design (well, an attempt at) and even in the same colours, but with none of the detail or finesse - so she hadn’t even attempted any of the embroidery techniques, which would’ve at least made it a useful exercise! More importantly, the fact she had a fancy-pants machine made ZERO difference to the outcome. It was embarrassing.

Sure, we ALL get inspiration from other people. It’s how we learn, it’s how people have always learned. But unless you’re following a kit or project instructions precisely as described using the exact colours and design prescribed (and presumably have paid the original designer for those instructions) your own creative handwriting will creep in to the things you make as you go along. The inspiration is a starting point, and you put your own spin on it as you go. Otherwise, what’s the point?!

As I say - she’s the only person I’ve ever taught who really irritated me like this! It wasn’t so much the copying (although it was terrible, in both senses) but the machine bragging that got my goat. If she’d spent a little less time worrying about appearances and a little more time giving things a go, stretching her comfort zone and imagination even a little bit, we could’ve got somewhere.

With more experience now, I can see it’s also a bit sad, more going on under the surface. Could I have spent time unravelling her sticking points and blocks? Maybe I would now, but I fear it wouldn’t make any difference because I’ve bumped into her more recently and the energy drain after meeting felt exactly the same.

And on that note…

I hereby conclude my thoughts about sewing machines!

Because quite frankly, even though I’ve banged on about them for the past few weeks, I really don’t care. I’m MUCH more interested in what we can do with them, than what they are.

90% of this could’ve been stitched on my 1940s Singer. The zigzag is the only thing I’d need to upgrade in order to do - even then, I could’ve stitched slowly in free-motion, moving the fabric from side to side. Time-consuming but not impossible.

Talking of energy drains

Personally, I’ve been spending more time on my machine than I’ve been used to of late. It’s seen some action! While I’ve had some fun with colour and stitch, it’s also making me slightly cross-eyed and skewed my screen time….

As I’ve been stitching, I’ve had YouTube, Netflix or sometimes Spotify on the go on my iPad, in the background. I’m a bit conflicted about this (and slightly ashamed) because on the one hand, 'people' say not to do this, that hours spent binge-watching stuff buggers up our dopamine balance. True.

BUT on the other hand, ADHD. I need the reward at the same time as I eat the frog, to boost my neurotransmitters enough to start and keep going.

Either way, rabbit holes I’ve fallen into include:

• Mormons (sorry, can’t explain, but I’m fascinated as someone whose family and married-into family extends from staunchly atheist at one extreme, to mega-church evangelical and a missionary or two at the other, with trad CofE and Welsh chapel in-between)

• Trad wives

• MAGA wives (particularly MAGA faces…again, fascinated)

• Cults in general (it was a natural progression…)

• True crime (erm….same)

• Batch cooking (practical, but can’t do as my fridge is too small)

• Notebooks (I keep saying, but I will write about this)

• Autism, ADHD, AuDHD and the overlaps (useful)

• Motivation, dopamine and neuroscience in general (for when I’m flagging)

• ICE - and those whose names I don’t even want to type - have inevitably appeared on my homescreen too (there are no words, it’s all so horrifying)

It’s been a lot, and probably not healthy (the last one definitely not) but a little bit of something in the background helps me get going. A price I’ve had to pay to keep brain happy while hands make stuff - otherwise I don’t make stuff, I just freeze. It’s another compromise. For my bedtime reading I’m also currently binge-reading a whole series of Icelandic Noir and it’s all a bit dark and gloomy. I could definitely use a lift in mood!

Tell me! What rabbit holes have you fallen into recently - and what should I watch or listen to next?! All suggestions gratefully received!

Until next time

which will be shorter (deadline approaching, must make, not write so much) and will definitely NOT be about sewing machines…

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