Dragon taming

aka how to do stuff when you just don't want to do any of it at all

Jun 24, 2026

All through the dull, grey days of winter, I’m longing for some warmth to wake me up and get me energised and motivated to do the things.

And as soon as the sun comes out, I don’t want to do any of it at all.

Mother was right: I am contrary.

Also, it’s 36°C, real-feel 42°C outside, not much different indoors, and no, we don’t have air con - this is England.

Wading through treacle

I started writing this on Monday, typing straight into Substack on my PC with outstretched arms, reaching over my accounts folder and calculator to do so.

What genius decided Monday morning was a great day to tackle the most boring but essential tasks in life? Oh yeah, it was me. Get it over and done with, kinda thinking. But it just felt like wading through treacle. All I had to do was enter a couple of things onto a list (it’s been a slow month) but even that was too much. Gah.

Because sometimes it doesn’t matter what it is I have to do or even if I want to do it because…

I Don’t Care

Take the stuff on my art desk at the moment: it’s all stuff I want to do. I know I want to do it. I know I’ll enjoy it - if I start it. But I can’t. In that moment, when it comes to actually doing the thing - even something potentially dull like the accounts, but something I was looking forward to just getting done - I don’t care. Bite me.

It’s very strange, and impossible to explain to anyone who’s never felt it.

Don’t even think to tell me ‘well, sometimes you just have to’. I know that 🤨 Also, the ‘just do two minutes’ thing - or ‘break it down into tiny tasks’. Forget it.

Don’t care. Still can’t start

And the other stuff I have to do this week, like sorting things for an exhibition I’m really, really excited about. That’s probably the most important thing on my plate right now, but even that feels like an interruption.

But I don’t know what it’s interrupting.

It’s like when you have a word on the tip of your tongue. The more you search, the more slippery and evasive it becomes.

I just have this really strong sense that I don’t want to do any of it. Which I also know isn’t entirely true. Once I start, I’ll likely not be able to stop. Which is good. That’s how things eventually get done, making up for lost time!

The allure of the sidequest

I will admit, there’s been a very strong pull to start another Substack publication. I would’ve done it by now, except I couldn’t decide whether to do it as ‘me’ or as a different ‘me’ but still me. I think I’ve resolved that, but now I’m stuck on the next hurdle: what to call it? Until I can think of that, I can’t start because that’s the url.

Sometimes you have to go with it, go off and do something else entirely until that thing becomes too boring to continue, thus reviving the allure of the first thing you wanted to do that now seems infinitely preferable…and I might do that, one day (the new Substack thing, that is).

But WHY, Izzy?

Why, for the love of everything, does this happen - even when we WANT and NEED to do the stuff?

Vive la Résistance

Resistance. Contrariness. Stubbornness. Pathological Demand Avoidance.

Name it what you will, we are creative people with energetic minds, who see things that others miss, and are usually desperate to go and explore something more interesting instead of what’s right in front of us.

They see a room with stuff cluttering every surface, we see piles of potential.
They see tasks unfinished, we see a glorious trail of exploration and discovery.
They see us lounging around with our eyes shut ‘doing nothing’. We’re working out in our head how to deal with a particularly knotty bit on our next magnificent creation, yet to be realised (obviously) but that one day soon we’ll magic out of the air, making people gasp at our creativity and resourcefulness and inability to explain where we get our ideas from or how we do it.

We’ve also had a lifetime of other people thinking they know better than us, telling us we’re wrong, and what to do instead.

Our natural desires and impulses have been overridden so many times we’re now on a hair trigger for anything that could tip us into a state of nervous system overwhelm. Being made to do stuff when we don’t want to is utterly terrifying if our lived experience of doing so previously left us feeling wretched: out of our depth at the very least, most likely useless, pressured, inadequate, vulnerable, terrified, ridiculous…

When I was four or five, I was asked if I wanted a ride on a miniature tractor. I firmly declined. I insisted. They picked me up and sat me on it and took me for a ride anyway. I still remember my seething internal rage, I still feel it.

We don’t ‘not do things’ because we’re flaky or unreliable or uncontrollable - but because all our lives, the world has already tried to control us, tell us what to do and what it thinks of us if we don’t, and we’re tired of it.

Taming the dragon

You can think of resistance like a sleeping dragon. Wake it, and it’ll set fire to everything, no matter how clever your thinking or urgent your instructions.

*image by GirlOnPhire, Pixabay OR how my garden feels right now…*

Some things are akin to poking it with a sharp stick…

ORDERS or external directives of any kind:
- telling yourself to just bloody well do the thing. Can’t make me.
- telling yourself to just do two minutes. That can F right off. Shan’t.
- getting to the point where someone else starts asking you for the thing or telling you to do the thing. Guaranteed to make you resent every moment of doing the thing, while hating yourself for saying yes in the first place.
- getting so close to a deadline you have absolutely no choice but to do the thing or face public ridicule or hate or bankruptcy or whatever else you dread most. You can tell yourself you’re motivated by deadlines, but you’ll never do your best work and you know it.
THINKING of any kind at all, because thinking opens the door to all sorts of wonderful alternatives, like organising your socks instead (true story, done that already today). So…
- Never ask yourself what you feel like doing - you already know the answer and it’s not helpful
- Never ask yourself what you should do first - the fast track to overwhelm and panic

Dragon 101

Dragons may look fiery and fierce, but at their core they’re frightened little creatures who can get all hot and bothered every now and then if they don’t feel safe.

And they feel safest when they don’t have to make decisions, because someone else already has - and with their best interests at heart.

Ultimately, they want to be accepted for who they are. They don’t want to do or be something they’re not - and definitely not told off if they accidentally set fire to things.

If you’re going to tame your dragon, you need to start by gently letting it know who’s in charge AND that it’s all going to be OK. As the boss and chief dragon tamer, it’s your job to know how to keep things cool to minimise the wildfires - but it’s also your job to work out ahead of time what it is you’re going to do and when, including the good stuff.

Key tasks for chief dragon tamer:

Take charge: have a (dragon-friendly) plan
Help your dragon feel safe

1. That’s been my mistake this week. I’ve got slack on writing out my plan for the week. I don’t always (never) stick to it, but at least by writing things out I can see clearly what’s what and when. I’ve been naively hoping to wing it and magically do all the things - without actually nailing down exactly what those things were. Recipe for overwhelm and paralysis right there. Going into my room thinking ‘I’ve got so much to do’ is absolutely the worst way to start the week. That’s a big sharp pokey stick right there. It’s been far easier to turn around and walk out again, go and do something else instead.

2. As every dragon is different, the best way of keeping it safe is unique to you:

Things that can soothe - not stoke - your dragon…

Going into your workspace and having a pootle. Picking up a heap of fabric or paper to put somewhere else, and discovering a snippet or scrap you’d forgotten about but would look really cool next to this other piece here...
Flicking through a book or magazine and looking at the pretty pictures
Starting to untangle a pile of threads, or tidy a drawer
Spending time creating with other people instead of alone, irl or online - when you’re chatting, you can’t think all the thinks
Listening to something on the radio or some music while you start to get things together - or just anyway
Going for a walk, feeling the breeze, gazing into the middle distance
This week, experimenting with frozen grapes, and making ice lollies from frozen smoothie. Genius idea, Izzy..

Most important (and difficult) - don’t think about it!

Is it too late for me this week? Funnily enough, after doing all of the things on that list, I’ve now finished writing this, done what I needed with my accounts, and filmed big chunks of video for use in a possible future course, while also getting some collage pieces together for a workshop: