Brighton rock

Where what’s important is clearly visible throughout everything we do

And for the avoidance of doubt or criticism, it could be Blackpool rock (the oldest) but Brighton is only a bus ride away from me, so there!

We really shouldn’t be scared of AI. It’s quite frankly very stupid.

We make decisions all the time

Decisions at every turn, whether we’re conscious of taking them or not.

I’m self-employed, I set my own agenda. Sometimes I might create something worthy of being paid for. But even those things have no deadline, only my self-imposed ones. It’s far too easy to decide to do something else instead, to follow my instincts not my intelligence. Often I’m not even aware I’ve taken a decision until I look up at the clock at 4pm and wonder where the day went.

Every morning, every moment, every day, every week, I’m left in charge of the decision for what to do with my time. It’s like leaving a toddler unsupervised with a pot of paint then wondering why their hair is blue.

Some things are more inevitabilities than decisions

There are some things I’ll always do, without question (or only a cursory pause). They’re so inevitable, they’re not really a decision.

• Sign up to a new course

• Create teetering stacks of books in every room of the house apart from the bathroom

• Have different projects in different stages on every surface in my studio, not to mention the boxes and bags of things stuffed away until some unspecified time in the future when I’m not so busy

• Subscribe to another newsletter

• Binge-save more art on Pinterest

• Buy another sketchbook and pen whenever I go to Hobbycraft, just in case

• Rescue more bright, colourful things from the charity shop. It feels like a duty - if I don’t, who will? Same with picking blackberries

• Save every scrap and button and bead and zip when I ‘harvest’ fabric from the above. You just never know when…

• Take more photos than I’ll ever look at again - although I might look at these again

• Send yet another free book sample to my Kindle

• Add another podcast episode to my Listen Later list

• Be entranced by the beaded strings of cobwebs across the bay tree in the garden

• Notice the clusters of ivy flowers starting to come out, as I walk up to the field

• Stop to pick up and polish a conker

• Be incapable of walking along any beach without picking up a shell or pebble, and even in winter I need to resist the urge to take off my shoes and socks

• Delight in swinging a kettlebell every Saturday morning before breakfast

• Buy cards at any art exhibition, especially if handmade, but printed postcards are also fair game

• Find it impossible to resist buying another jolly sweater, bead bracelet or scarf to instantly lift my mood with colour

• Say Yes more often than I say No

• Always jump in to help someone out, preferably in a hands-on way

• Love sharing what I’ve learned and discovered, especially with other people who get it and who are interested in stuff, too. Small talk? Pah! Let’s talk about something interesting!

• Always flick the radio on in the car, if I’m not already listening to a podcast or talking to a passenger. With Radio 4 you’re never far away from a documentary about some obscure or arcane subject.

• Take huge satisfaction in the (infrequent) event of being able to answer even one question on University Challenge, but celebrate so long that I miss the next question.

Remarkably, there’s a common thread

I’ve often wondered if there is. In the dark moments when I’m doubting myself, wondering what on earth I’m actually good at or good for. When I feel so absolutely scattered and incapable of holding a single coherent thought in my head and wish I could just - for the love of all that’s holy - think or do one thing at a time.

In such moments, I’ve tried the usual online quizzes and tests. Years ago I went on a weekend retreat to do the Myers Briggs thing. A weekend with the nuns in a convent. Not sure why the nuns were hosting, but it was certainly an experience.

If you’re an aficionado of all-things MBTI, any guesses what I came out as? I reckon the result might be different now I know myself better than I did 30 years ago, but what do you think?! If you’ve taken the test, did it ring true for you?

And of course there’s been my ADHD diagnosis, which explains a LOT, but it’s still only a diagnosis and not my identity.

Recently, I’ve tried things like having rambling chats with ChatGPT, which can be surprisingly useful at sorting through the waffle and finding common threads. My Dad used to scoff at all this stuff, calling it ‘navel gazing’ and I remember my sister, with her Psychology/Physiology degree, poo-pooed Myers Briggs in particular. Neither of them are with me now, but an echo of shame lives on whenever I find myself pondering these things and pressing yet another ‘take the test!’ button.

So why do I still ask? My thinking is, if I only knew what it was that held it all together, it’d be easier to make a decision if I’m ever stuck for one. And maybe, at the grand old age of 54, I might work out what I should do with my life? Maybe?

And anyway…

I love a quiz, don’t you?!

I’ve actually taken this one several times over the years, and the results are pretty consistent. I get more or less the same top 5 every time.

It’s from the VIA Institute of Character and VIA stands for ‘Values in Action Inventory’. Goodness knows how I first discovered it, but it’s been an interesting and affirming thing to do occasionally.

According to my latest results, my absolute top strength is….

1. Love of learning

Yep. Me and my long list of online course passwords and groaning bookshelves concur.

1. My latest course-splurge is this one with Tansy Hargan. Do I need to do it? Probably not. Do I have time? Nope. Do I now have pieces of emulsion-painted fabric draped over a clothes airer in my studio? Yes!

   

   Painted thrifted fabric awaiting the ‘next step’, which I’m yet to discover

2. I’ve just started to experiment with pickles. I already ‘do’ kombucha and sourdough, and occasionally kimchi, but I have a new pickle obsession. I’ve already moved on from easy fridge ones to the fermented kind. Do I now have two jars of carrots and radishes skulking on saucers behind the fabric drawers? Oh yes. I have to be very careful. I should probably check on them, but I’m nervous.

3. I’ve recently taken two short classes with London Drawing Group. If you’ve not come across them, you absolutely must sign up to their newsletter! They always have interesting things on. They’re all online, and you can take part ‘live’ or catch up within two weeks. Here’s what I did in a class with Ruby Elliot the other weekend:

   

   

   I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoyed this class

4. And another one all about Hundertwasser where we were looking at ‘utopian architecture’. I was familiar with some of the art, but didn’t know anything about the man himself so it was interesting to learn more. The class exercises involved making very quick sketches from his paintings, or from photos of the buildings he reimagined. And I mean quick sketches: a matter of minutes, which became even shorter because I forgot I was watching the replay at 1.5 speed 😅 and now I have a burning desire to go to Vienna, immediately.

   

   

   Do you like my Hundertwasser-esque vision for revamping Tate Modern?!

Learning being my top ‘thing’, it’s probably also why I teach. I adore learning stuff, so others must like learning it too. Yes?! I have more ideas for courses I could teach, big and small, than I can ever hope to produce. Especially going by my current work rate 🐢

In second place we have…

2. Appreciation of beauty and excellence

“Noticing and appreciating beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in various domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience”.

And talking of which, I’m off to see this film in a couple of weeks. I’m very excited.

The next three are…

Creativity, Curiosity and Zest

According to the survey, these include:

• Thinking of new ways to do things, not just in art

• Finding subjects and topics fascinating

• Exploring and discovering

• Approaching life with excitement and energy

• Not doing things half-heartedly

• Living life as an adventure

• Feeling alive and activated

Yeah, I’ll take all that!

Like the letters running through a stick of Brighton Rock, these things are always true.

And if you’re curious and want to learn how indeed they get the letters to run all through the rock, have a look at this!

How about you?

What’s running through your metaphorical stick of rock?!

Until next time,

AI may say it loves learning, but it can’t spell and still can’t grasp the concept of rock with letters running through it…

I give up

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